Eyes of Eros
by ParadoxPhilosopher
Summary: Sakura is sick of Naruto's oblivious nature towards her advances and enlists the help of Sasuke to help open his eyes to her advances. the problem starts when he notices the it is not just Sakura after him but EVERYONE! Now running from every woman in Konoha, he must use every trick in his book to escape an enemy more tenacious and frightening than anything he's ever faced.postwar


AUTHORS NOTE!

Hey there. I just read this story again and wow, there were so many spelling mistakes. I hope I fixed them all but I am not sure. This is my first story and a bit of a test run so please forgive any problems that you may face. I know that this is the bane of all people who read these stories but I would like to ask that if you find this story funny that you take the time to jot down a few words in the comment box. I would like to know what my audience likes and dislikes so that I may write accordingly... and to those who don't like it, you can move politely on because I write for me and no one else... unless they ask nicely. but as I ramble on I will just state again that I would like it for a few nice comments or even a "that was some funny sh*t right there"

ParadoxPhilosopher

ON WITH THE STORY!

**EYES OF EROS!**

There were many things that people would come to regret after the War. Some would regret that they would never see their friends and family again, while others, would regret that the war had made their friends and family closer and now they could not get rid of them after they turned up drunk on their doorstep at 2am after partying all night. Though so much had been lost in the war, it really opened people's eyes to the future and how much was still to be gained. The Great time of Peace. That is what they called it. And none of it would have happened if it were not for the reckless antics of the number one unpredictable ninja, Uzumaki Naruto.

Yes. The Knuckle Headed Ninja had pulled it off. Not only did he bring in a time of peace and prosperity among the elemental nations, but he also managed to fulfil his promise of a lifetime. He had brought the Uchiha home. He also firmly placed himself in line as the next Hokage of Konoha when Tsunade retired.

Sakura was one of the people who still had regret from the war 3 years ago. However, her regret was a bit private. She regretted how much she had "friend zoned" Naruto in her past and it had become so bad that if she were now to ever try and get close to the now famous Uzumaki, he would simply shrug it off as friendship and be oblivious to her almost shameless attempts at getting his attention.

Sakura was long over her childhood crush of Sasuke, though many of the elders would have called it an obsession. A new picture was in her "hidden shrine" in her cupboard. This also included a lock of hair and collection of things owned, touched or even looked at by an oblivious blonde. Some might have called it creepy but that was just how Sakura did things. Like Naruto and Sasuke, when she went for something, she would do it whole heartedly and with complete disregard for anyone else's opinions on if it was a sane thing to do.

As she woke and started to prepare for the day she had a cunning smile on her face. Today was the day she would put her plan into action. Today she would go hunting, and with the help of a friend, she would finally capture the ever elusive fox.

* * *

Sakura made her way to bridge where team 7 would meet before going on a mission. It was not the same bridge but a replica of the one that had been destroyed when Pein attacked and levelled Konoha. She sat quietly on the railing and swung her legs like an overgrown kid.

Judging from the position of the sun it was about 6am on this summer day. And as she sat quietly she had time to reflect on the years she had been sitting in that exact spot while waiting for their Sensei, with Naruto and Sasuke loudly arguing and almost coming to a brawl before Kakashi would turn up and defuse the situation.

"Brings back memories, doesn't it?"

Sakura almost most jumped a metre in the air and fall into the water below out of shock. She had forgotten how quiet this man could be.

"Yes it does Sasuke. And you could have warned me that you were there! You almost gave me a heart attack!" Sakura fumed towards the dark eyed warrior Nin.

Ever since Naruto had put him in his place, Sasuke had become a lot friendlier and was now quite the talker. He was still the arrogant jerk he always was, but now he would at least pretend like he cared instead of just scowling and walking away the moment he became bored.

"You told me to meet you here this morning and that you would make it worth my while…" Sasuke stated. He was always business like. "…what is it that you want?"

"I want you to help me play a trick on Naruto so that he will finally see that I really care about him, more than just as a friend" Sakura sighed. Though Sasuke knew of the tension between Sakura and Naruto already, having to explain her whole scheme to the ever stoic eye on the Uchiha was not something that she was comfortable with, even if he was a good friend.

Sasuke was always on the lookout to stick it to Naruto in one way or another. He still harboured a bitter resentment as being Naruto's "war trophy" as he put it. It was bad enough having been defeated but to be dragged back and paraded through the streets of Konoha was just embarrassing. The reason why he did not leave the first moment he got was for fear that Naruto would track him down and drag him back so the who parade of shame could start again.

"Let's say that I do help you. What would be in it for me?" Sasuke said while trying to hide a smirk at his growing excitement to screw with Naruto.

"I thought you would have jumped at the chance to get back at Naruto." Sakura said.

Sasuke sighed and leaned back on the balustrade of the bridge. "Normally I would but the fact that it is one of your schemes does not fill me with confidence"

Sakura's eye twitched but instead of lashing out she smiled sweetly and reached into her pocket. She was prepared for this.

"I was hoping that a chance to screw with Naruto would be enough motivation for you but if you are not totally convinced thenI am sure that _this _will change your mind."

With that, Sakura passed Sasuke an envelope.

Sasuke's faced suddenly turn deathly white and his jaw dropped when he saw the photos inside.

"HOW DID YOU…?"

"I am a ninja Sasuke. We have ways of finding things out." Sakura's innocent smile was not so innocent anymore.

"I swear! It was only that one time! Lee and I were so drunk we did not know what we were doing!"

Sakura smirked "Oh it sure looks like you two knew what you were doing. And I am sure Karin would love to see what you were doing with The Great Green Beast of Konoha"

Sasuke made a gulp as he tried to swallow the tugging feeling in his throat. His girlfriend Karin would skin him alive if he ever looked at another girl. Not even the horrors of Tsukoyomi could fathom what she would do to him if she were to find out about a drunken mistake with Rock Lee of all people!

Sasuke burnt the photos in his hands before turning to Sakura. She had him pinned and she knew it.

"What is this plan of yours and what do you need me to do?" His head was hung as he dreaded the situation.

Sakura smiled triumphantly. "I need you to trick Naruto into thinking that you have cast a genjutsu on him so that he becomes irresistible to the women of the village."

Sasuke raised a curious eyebrow. "You're kidding right? That is your big plan?! The guy is famous and already IS irresistible to the women of the village! He has more fan girls than when I was a kid!"

Sakura frowned at Sasuke for pointing out that she had a lot of competition but was confident that her plan would work. "I know he has fan girls and YOU know he has fan girls but HE DOESN'T! He is so oblivious to it that most of the fan girls have given up. But what do you think will happen when he starts noticing that he is the heart-throb of the village?"

"He will be scared out of his wits. He may have spent years with Jiraiya but he has absolutely no skills with women" Sasuke nodded.

"And that is when I will strike and "save him" from all the crazy fan girls! He will be so grateful that he will have to take me on a date!" Sakura cheered.

Sasuke just shook his head and almost swore he was looking at the kid version of Naruto. It was funny how time had a way of changing things and reversing roles. Naruto was the one as a kid who was always trying to get Sakura's attention but she just saw him as a friend. Now the shoe was on the other foot. The whole plan was crazy but he had no choice but to go along with it. One thought just kept going through the Uchiha's mind as he remembered his own trouble with fan girls when he was a kid. '_Those fan girls are going to eat him alive'_

* * *

With a resounding leap he left his bed and dashed to the other side of the room. The morning was so quiet he felt it would be ruined by the shrill cry of his alarm clock. Despite the fact that his actions made more noise than the clock itself, he felt the overwhelming need to stop that little hammer from striking those bells. He would wonder later why he even HAD and alarm clock since years of early mornings had trained his body to wake up at exactly 5am.

This particular morning he had awoken fifteen minutes early but was too comfortable in his "well-worn in" bed to get up and move. He had stared at the clock from across the room and silently challenged the clock to ring. It was one of his favourite "ninja games" as a kid. He would imagine the clock was an enemy scout that had to be struck down before he could send out an alarm.

Moving quickly he was gaining ground on his target. His enemy had not yet spotted his presence. The ticking of the clock, like the heartbeat of his enemy seemed to pound in his ears, the steady and unconscious thrump of a calm person who had underestimated their opponent and thought him a fool. But it was the clock that was the fool; they were all fools for underestimating him. For he was the Great Legend. The Brave Warrior. The Black and Orange Tiger of the Konoha forests! The Golden Fox! And NOW, after tripping on a box on the ground HE WAS FALLING FLAT ON HIS FACE!

The clock made a final click and was now "aware of his presence". Without a single flinch, Naruto pulled a kunai from his sleeve and hurled it at the clock while desperately trying to save face. His face from the floor for that matter. The clock never knew what hit it. Of course it didn't, it was just a clock after all. His neighbours on the other hand did and were less than impressed as a kunai embedded alarm clock crashed through their wall and lodged itself in the wall behind it. He may have thrown his knife a little too hard.

Naruto took this time to look at the box he had tripped on and saw it as a box of that special metal paper on a roll that Sakura had given him so he could store his food for longer, that is, if he ever ate anything other than instant ramen.

Striking a heroic pose he looked down at the box of aluminium and cried out "HaHA! Though you may have gotten in my way, you still did not "foil" my plan!"

His proud achievement at a very poor joke was interrupted when a clearly pissed off Mr Nakamishi poked his head through the new hole in the wall to glare at the future Hokage.

Keeping as calm a voice as a man just being rudely awakened at FIVE IN THE MORNING ON A SATURDAY! He took a steady breath and tried to be as polite as he could to the Ungodly strong man before him and future leader of the now free world.

"I do respect that you have highly honed skills and that you need to keep them in at their peak and I also respect that you choose to get up at an Ungodly time in the morning. And finally, I am ever so grateful for everything you did during the war and keeping us out of a slavery inducing global genjutsu…"

Naruto was feeling on top of the world right now. Not only had he just destroyed his neighbour's wall but now he was being complemented through the hole. His pride in his achievements was short lived however.

"..BUT YOU MUST ALSO RESPECT THAT MY FAMILY ARE NOT NINJA AND DO NOT CARE TO BE WOKEN UP AT FIVE IN THE FREAKING MORNING ON MY ONE DAY OFF IN THREE MONTHS!"

Mr Nakamishis' face was now completely red with unbridled fury. Naruto's first thought was to tell him to shove that clock where the sun didn't shine and unload a piece of information about what a "rude awakening" really was. Naruto shuddered at the memories of waking up while on his trips with Ero Sennin, But Baa-chan was teaching him the fine arts of _Diplomacy_ and in diplomacy "one must always be polite and try to see thing from the other persons point of view… even if they are a complete bore to talk with and an utter bastard". Never had the Hokage felt that diplomacy had been given a better rule.

Naruto quietly apologised and quickly sealed the hole with an earth jutsu before Mr Nakamishi could complain further. He quickly changed into his orange and black jounin outfit with his red sage robe with black flames.

Looking back at the mantle to find the time he realized that maybe his previous little game of beating the hands of time was a bit more detrimental to his own lifestyle than he thought. His clock was now embedded in the wall of his neighbours' house and he doubted that it was still working.

Though the warranty was comprehensive and lasted for a year, Naruto felt that he would be pushing his luck if he had to explain the circumstances of how it was damaged. Also, it was the third one this week…Maybe Mr Nakamishi had a point.

Grabbing an apple for breakfast, Naruto made his way out to do his early morning laps of the city. If he was feeling lucky, he might even challenge Lee to a race.

* * *

Naruto was fending off Lee in a taijutsu vs. Frog Fu match when Sasuke arrived at training ground "Eternal Youth". He could not ever read the name without Maito Guy's voice entering his head. The stoic Uchiha was already dreading his part to play in this stalker induced game of human shogi. Not only did he not think it was going to work but now he might also have to _Talk_ with Lee. Since the "incident" a few months ago, he had avoided Lee like the plague. That is not to say that EVERYONE didn't avoid Lee like the plague unless they wanted a suicidal training session.

Naruto was one of the only one stupid enough to willingly go with lee nowadays. Even the ever youthful Maito Guy was left a little sore of pride and starting to feel the cold hands of middle age after a 56 hour sprint to Kumo and back.

Naruto was the first to notice the Uchiha's presence. Truth be told, while in sage mode he could even tell that Garra was at the Pub in Suna and Mizukage was in her front garden in Kirigakure but these were things that no one really needed to know.

Calling an end to the spar, Lee almost collapsed in exhaustion. Naruto was the only one who could outlast Lee. It was only natural after He absorbed the Jyuubi in the final battle against Obito and Madara and then used his new Rinnengan powers to bring most of the fallen back to life. Naruto claimed that it was a one-time thing and that he used almost all of the jyuubi's power to do so and had lost the rinnengan after that but Sasuke had suspected he was keeping his cards close to his chest to not spook others into thinking he was now one step below a demigod.

Sasuke shook his head at the thought of the universe's ultimate power being placed in the gullible hands of the village idiot. Such thoughts kept him awake at night in a cold sweat. Nightmares of jutsu involving killer ramen noodles and a jyuubi powered Harem Jutsu, capable of killing even a gay man and 50 paces. If Naruto kept the Jyuubi then the world really was doomed.

"Hey Sasuke, How the bloody hell are you?" there he goes again, loud as ever.

Sasuke had to get him alone for Sakura's plan to work. This meant ditching Lee, but judging by the collapsed, sweaty and heavy breathing form that lay on the ground before him, that was easier done than said.

Sasuke shakes his head violently as he tries to get the memory of that night out of his head. **Lee's muscular torso, dripping in sweat. His heavy breathing. Lying naked on that cold grass. **"_HOW DRUNK WAS I!?"'_ Sasuke screamed in his head.

His thoughts were interrupted by the loud blonde future Hokage. Sasuke Thanked Kami for once that his friend was loud enough to break his concentration.

"I asked you how the hell are you?! But all you're doing is staring at Lee. You know I always heard you were gay and never thought your obsession with your older brother was healthy but maybe you should talk to Inoichi-san about this. I had a problem a while back where I thought I was half toad- half woman. I talked to Inoichi-san and he helped me clear up my psychological problems in under a minute. Their clan jutsu is really cool!"

Despite his better judgement, Sasuke felt the need to ask. "Naruto, how did he help you in under a minute? Did he use a secret clan technique? I never thought the ShintenShin worked that fast."

Naruto could not help but laugh at his friends' ignorance in the clearly delicate workings of the mind. "_Poor Sasuke, spent all those years traveling with a paedophile and never had the chance to learn the how to heal a fractured mind_"

"No silly" Naruto waggled his finger as if going to give a life changing piece of information.

"I went to Inoichi-san and told him my problems in a clear and thought out manner…"

Sasuke raised his eyebrow in a desperate hope that maybe Inoichi could help him sort out his confusion over what happened that night he got drunk.

"…and then Inoichi-san hit me over the head with his fist and told me to stop being such a moron! Cleared me right up!"

And all hope was gone…

This conversation was not going anywhere it needed to go so Sasuke decided to press onwards to his main objective. To lure Naruto away to a secluded spot without raising suspicion was going to require all the finesse of a great negotiator. He had contemplated leaving a trail of prepared ramen bowls leading to training ground 7 but decided that he would be a bit more bold and daring than that.

"Hey Naruto, Come with me for a minute."

It worked like a charm.

* * *

Sasuke and Naruto arrive at training field. It is already 8am and Naruto was in the mood for some early morning ramen. Just thinking about the bowl of hot noodles and steamy broth was making his mouth water. And he already would be at his favourite ramen stand if it were not for the man who had lured him out to training field 7.

This was not the original training field 7 because as Naruto and Sakura's strength increased so did the amount of damage done to the training field. The Hokage ruled that team seven's training area be moved a metre further out away from the city of Konoha every time it was destroyed. As it stood, the training ground might as well be on the border of fire country for how many times it was wrecked but the reconstruction workers drew the line at 30 kilometres.

Naruto turned and groaned at Sasuke.

"Sasuke-teme! Why are we all the way out here?! I am hungry and I want to be at Ichiraku's right about now!"

A sinister smirk appeared on the dark eyed warrior.

"Naruto, how much do you know about Genjutsu?"

Naruto looked at him dumbfounded. It was common knowledge that he had better luck gluing lime jelly to the ceiling of the Hokage's office than he did in casting a simple genjutsu. The office jello jutsu was without a doubt Konohamaru's favourite. Sasuke caught on to this misconception and decided to correct it.

"No, No, No. I mean 'do you know what it is?'"

Naruto scoffed.

"Of course I know what it is. It is a type of hypnotism used to distract and incapacitate an enemy during a battle."

Sasuke was shocked that the blonde in front of him was even aware of the words he used to describe the technique, but decided this was a discussion for another time.

"Do you want to learn a technique in Genjutsu? This one is really easy. I am sure even you could do it on the first try" Sasuke knew he had him. He was always a smooth talker when he needed to be. It was once boasted that he could sell sand to the Kazekage. And there was nothing that Naruto would want more than to learn a cool new trick. So it was not surprising when Naruto tackled Sasuke to the ground and was shaking him by his collar, BEGGING him to teach what Naruto had already dubbed "HIS ULTIMATE MIND WARPING TECHNIQUE!"

Naruto was so excited he did not even bother to ask what this new Jutsu could do and in no time at all he had the hand signs down and cried out the name **"EYES OF EROS NO JUTSU!"**

Naruto turned to Sasuke with a look of questioning. Sasuke activated his sharingan for a few moments before smirking and giving Naruto the thumbs up to tell him he was successful.

This was all for show of course. The technique was a fake and didn't work but Naruto didn't know that. THAT was all part of the joke. It was to get him to believe that he was irresistible and would actually take the freaking obvious hints that every shameless woman in Konoha was dropping him. All of them staring at him with eyes that said "Forget my young daughter and marry me! I will leave my husband even! I may not be as young but I make up for it in experience!"

Luckily for Naruto, this particular line of thinking was only held by a minute group called the "desperate house wives club". But that was not to say that there were not plenty of younger women drooling over him. If only Naruto knew, Sasuke was sure he would board himself up in his house and tunnel to Suna with spoons, leaving a straw dummy disguised as him on the front porch.

But that was the point. Soon he would know!

It was after a particularly dark chuckle that Naruto's loud voice once again broke his concentration.

"Oi, Sasuke-teme, what does this actually do?"

Sasuke can't help but smirk and think "_OH NOW he wants to know what it does. This should be fun!"_

"This particular genjutsu makes you completely irresistible to every person of the opposite sex that sees you for 12 hours. It is mostly used for gathering information discretely from enemy patrols but was deemed too dangerous for kunoichi to use as it gave their male team mates too many ideas for those 12 hours."

Naruto "ohed" and took a moment to digest this particular bit of information before turning back to the dark eyed man.

"So…How do you turn it off?"

"You can't turn it off. It will naturally fade after 12 hours"

"WHAT!? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT EVERY GIRL WILL BE HANGING OFF ME FOR TWELVE HOURS?!"

"Not so loud Naruto! You are already giving me a headache! And to answer your question, yes…"

Naruto hung his head. He was hungry for ramen but if this was true then he would have to wait 12 hours before he could return to the village.

"…However…"

Naruto looked up. A glimmer of hope! Perhaps there could be a way for him to get his noodley treat!

"…you could always try and dispel it with the ram seal."

And in a plume of smoke the Uchiha disappeared, leaving a sulking Naruto.

"Great, the only thing I am worse at than genjutsu is dispelling them."

Still it was worth a shot. Naruto formed the Ram seal with his hands and slowly started to concentrate of breaking his natural flow of chakra. It was always a struggle for him, there was always just so much chakra.

Breaking the seal he entered his "inner world" and faced the ultimate tailed beast demon. The gates in the sewer had rusted and now hung open. But this was fine. Gone was the hatred and malice of the nine tailed fox and left was only the wisdom of the 10 tailed SLOTH! A creature so powerful that it felt no reason to leave. All it did was sleep.

Naruto turned to the sloth and asked "OH MIGHTY SID! I ASK YOU! BE THERE A DISTURBANCE IN THE CHAKRA?"

The ten tail sloth turned an eye to Naruto and yawned "I don't feel anything…"

Leaving his inner world, Naruto turned and headed for home, safe in the knowledge that he had dispelled the genjutsu. Who was he to argue with the great Jyuubi?

* * *

As Naruto disappeared into the forest of Konoha, black eyes watched him from the trees.

"Oh yes Dobe… let the games begin!" Sasuke let out one of his stereotypical evil laughs and was actually enjoying playing the villain again until his mobile phone started to signal a message. Why Karin had set the message to "Justin Bieber's Baby" he would never know, he also cursed how she had locked the settings with a code. The message was from Karin… she wanted to talk… apparently Lee had turned up at their doorstep with flowers….for him…she was not happy….and he was screwed.

* * *

The trip into the city was nothing to mention about, however once the knuckle headed ninja was inside the city walls ALL eyes were upon him. The women with shameless lust and desire. The men with envy and some with admiration.

The Hero of the Fourth Great Ninja War was strutting down the street without a care in the world or a thought in his head. He had a goal though. One that was of utmost importance and nothing short of a new war would stop him. He was going to Ichiraku's and ordering 20 bowls of Miso ramen…as an entrée.

But something was different today. Everyone was watching him. It was like they were studying him. This was similar to his childhood when they all stared at him with hatred and malice, but now; there was something different in their eyes. Something he had never seen before. Or maybe it had always been there and he was just too stupid to see it. He reasoned that both were firm possibilities. Whatever it was, it unnerved him. Badly.

Quickening his step, he ducked under the curtain and into his sanctuary. The familiar smell of spices, sake, meats on a grill and something that smelled like almonds all came flooding into his nose. This would have been his home if they never closed. The Chef Teuchi and his daughter Ayame were good friends and always had been since they gave him food as a child.

Ayame came forward with her brown hair and dazzling smile to take his order. She did not even bat an eyelash at his order for 20 bowls of Miso… for starters. Naruto was an honorary member with a lapel pin in his sage coat that gave him a 15% discount at all Ichiraku stores. Old Teuchi had made such a profit off Naruto's service alone that he was able to turn his little corner hut into a global franchise. There was now an Ichiraku Ramen stand in every major city and some drive through restaurants on the highways. Teuchi was now one of the richest men in fire country, even rivalling the Hyuugas. Hiashi nearly had a heart attack when the Greasy Chef out bid him on the Feudal lords old estate.

When Ayame came back with the first bowl of Naruto's order, they engaged in some light banter about how the store was going, new recipes and improvements on the old ones. The conversation was going well except for the constant shuffling closer to him that she was doing. This would normally go unnoticed however Naruto saw that same look in her eye as he did the other villagers and Kunoichi. In fact, it was now becoming painfully obvious to him and she was seriously encroaching on his personal space. Naruto came to the conclusion that if she were to come any closer she would be sitting in his lap. Naruto eyed her carefully as she fluttered her eyelashes at him.

Taking another gulp of the noodle broth, Naruto asked her a dumb question.

"Are you ok Ayame? I think you have been working in the spices here a bit too long. You keep blinking like you have got something caught in your eye."

Ayame jumped at this chance. She, like many others, had been trying for years to gain his attention and now he noticed her fluttering eyelashes at him. It was small but it was more attention than he had ever paid to her other that platonic. There was a chink in the armour. A light at the end of the tunnel! A Foot in the Door! A TURNIP IN THE SOUP! That last one didn't make sense but who cares! The most elusive bachelor to ever grace the city had noticed her advances! He mistook it for spice in her eye but she would over look that for what it truly was. Friends with benefits! A first date! A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL! YES! NARUTO UZUMAKI NAMIKAZE WAS HERS!

Naruto eyed the strange waitress who was blushing and giggling at what he could only suspect was some kind of funny and rude joke a colleague had told her and not wanting to miss out on a good joke, promptly asked her "what has you all giggling?"

Quickly standing and turning around, Ayame started to preen her hair and smooth out wrinkles in her clothes that were not there before swaying her hips as she walked forward to claim her future husband.

"Oh it is nothing my dear, I was just thinking about the future. Our future. Together."

Her voice was sultry and had a deceptively sweet undertone that seemed to cover her growing need for the man in front of her. She reached over the counter with a napkin to wipe some of the noodle broth off the young man's chin.

To say that the young man was confused was like saying the Forth Great Ninja War was a dispute over housing rates that was handled by lawyers. Or even that the desert lands of Suna had a slight breeze during a sandstorm. It was a complete understatement with grave circumstances if you had it wrong. Nothing made sense…..nothing except

"_THE GENJUTSU! IT MUST STILL BE WORKING! I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"_

The blonde toad sage cleared his throat and exited in as calm a manner as he could.

"Wow! Gee! Look at the time! Terribly sorry but I have to be going. Need to see a man about a dog!"

"But you don't have a dog my sweet" Ayame purred

"You know you are absolutely right! I should get one! I will be going and getting one now! You stay here! Alright?!" Naruto was starting to panic. Ayame had a hold on his cloak and did not seem too keen to let him go just yet.

"NO! Please don't leave me! I want to come with you! I love you! I need you!"

Naruto was trapped and he felt that there was only one way to get out of this. It was high risk but also high reward. And so he dropped every ounce of pride he had and chose to do the unthinkable. He let out a loud, high pitched girly squeal and ran down the street like a mad man.

As the mighty toad sage passed an old man sleeping on a park bench, the man witnessed his girly squeal ant look at his watch.

"Hmmm, must be Saturday." He said to himself and went back to sleep.

* * *

Ayame sighed wistfully as she watched her future husband "get so excited he had to scream for joy and run". She ran back to tell her father the good news but found he had gone out for a delivery to a nearby client. Feeling the overwhelming need to tell SOMEONE, she reached for her phone and dialled the number for her friend Simia.

"Simia! HI! You will not believe what just happened! Naruto Namikaze just asked me to marry him! AAAHHH!" she cried out excitedly

Her friend on the other end was less than thrilled, in fact, she had her doubts.

"Oh come on Ayame! You surely don't expect me to believe that!"

Ayame paused to think over what had actually happened.

"Ok so maybe he didn't get down on one knee and propose but he noticed my advances! That's like an engagement when you consider his cluelessness! It means he noticed me and you know what that means!?"

"Yeah… I think I do. It means that now he is seeing past his team-mate, he will notice me as well and that means when he sees MY advances he will leave YOUR scrawny ass in the dust and Naruto and I can live happily ever after!"

Ayame was now fuming.

"NO! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM. HE IS TOO GOOD FOR YOU! IF YOU GO ANYWHERE NEAR HIM I WILL COME AFTER YOU AND RIP YOUR BLOODY STOMACH OUT AND FEED IT TO YOU WITH NOODLES!"

And so the swearing started. It was a good 5 minutes later that her father, Teuchi, came home from the delivery to find his darling daughter of 20 years of age, cussing worse than the best water country sailors on a bad day!

Poor Ayame had forgotten about her dad washing her mouth out with soap as a child. It was a memory that she soon retrieved. But news spread of the elusive toad sage finally noticing a woman's advances and in under 15 minutes, there was not a shameless and desperate woman in Konoha not chasing after the blonde.

Up in heaven, Jaraiya and Minato had never been more proud of their Son and Student.

NxS

Naruto was running scared. Not since he had faced Akatsuki had he come across and enemy that was this relentless. Not 20 minutes after having left Ichiraku's was he being followed by over a dozen kunoichi from all the clans in the village, and some that were just visiting. The villagers were fine. He could easily give them the slip. It was those with ninja training that were giving him trouble. The Nara Girls could predict his movements. The Inuzukas could follow his scent. The Yamanaka were great at leaching gossip and intelligence off the others. The Aburame had an army of scout beetles. The Akimichi were not the best of trackers but they would be hell to fight off if it came down to it. He did not even want to think about any of the other ninja groups that could be on his trail.

Running through a park, Naruto dove into the water to try and douse his scent. The water was cold but desperate times called for desperate measures and Naruto promised himself that if he survived this that he was going to hunt down and painfully MURDER THAT SON OF A BITCH UCHIHA FOR PUTTING HIM UP TO THIS! Perhaps Naruto could understand the Uchiha's need for revenger on his brother. Right now, nothing seemed more pleasing than to crush that TEME'S larynx with the heal of his boot.

Standing by a wooden fence, Naruto raised his faithful wood paling sheet and damped down his chakra. He was just in the nick of time as Yugao and Kurenai came along.

"Damn! We missed that slippery toad. When I get my hands on him I am gonna…"

"Wipe your nose Yugao! You can fantasize about your "anbu recruitment" later! Right now we need to hunt down that sexy fox!"

Naruto was both amazed and terrified that such a simple genjutsu could cause this much trouble! Surely an experienced hand such as Kurenai would be able to identify a simple genjutsu like this.

As if to answer his question Yugao turn the red eyed Kunoichi.

"Hey Kurenai! Could he be hiding with a genjutsu?"

"I don't sense anything and remember, genjutsu was never his bowl of ramen…"

"Yeah… I just hope we find him before your student does. She has grown bold and won't take no for an answer this time."

Naruto went as white eyed as a Hyuuga at the thought of facing HER! "_Oh shit! Hinata! I forgot about her… if she finds me I am FUCKED!"_

"He is not here Yugao, let's keep moving"

As soon as they were gone, Naruto dropped the timber coloured sheet and sighed he had outsmarted the genjutsu expert with nothing but a bed sheet. Just goes to show that she would only be looking for chakra induced disguises.

"Classics stay classic" he sighed to himself. But before he could take a step he felt an arm on his shoulder. "Oh shit". And with that he was pulled into a nearby alley.

* * *

"Oh thank Kami it is you guys. For a moment there I thought I was in trouble" Naruto chuckled quietly as he patted Kiba on the shoulder. Smiling with relief to be in the company of those he could trust he turned to see Choji, Neji, Shino and Sai with him. Oddly enough, none of them were smiling at him.

Neji was the first to speak.

"We are not here to rescue you, just to make things a little bit simpler for you"

Naruto's face bore confusion.

"You gotta make a choice man. You gotta pick one woman and stand by her and until you do, we are going to make your life hell." Kiba added.

Shino was the next to speak.

"We are tired of you being single Naruto. It ends today! While you are single, every girl in this village thinks they have a shot at you and won't commit to one of us because they are waiting for you! Today is the day you make a choice and until you do, we are going to be on your ass."

Naruto turned to Shino in confusion.

"I thought the Aburame clan hatched their women from cocoons?!"

Shino was about to show this toad what it felt like to be INSIDE a cocoon when Sai intervened.

"Naruto we are doing this for the greater good. As the future Hokage you must understand that you have a responsibility to everyone to do what is right, and what is right is to fall on your sword and go home with Hinata"

Kiba quickly clobbered Sai up the side of the head for that. Hinata was going to be HIS GIRLFRIEND when all this mess was over!

Naruto gave the men in front of him a pleading look, begging for mercy and allowing him to hide. He only had 5 more hours until the jutsu wore off.

"Oh come on guys! I have saved each and every one of your lives more times than I care to mention. Please! I beg of you! Repay the favour and just once and let me hide from this madness! Doesn't our friendship mean anything to you!?"

It was Choji's turn to speak up now. He gave Naruto and understanding and grateful smile and nodded his head.

"Naruto, your friendship means so much to us, of course we cannot betray your trust. You have saved all our lives. So this is the least we can do…"

Relief flooded Naruto's face and he fell to his knees.

"Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"…which is why we are giving you a five second head start to run… FIVE!"

"Hey w-w-wait just a second there!"

"FOUR!"

"Hold on now! You can't do this to me! Please!"

"I would start running if I were you… THREE!"

"I saved ALL of your lives from a life of slavery in a make believe world and this is how you threat me Choji?!"

"That's the way the cookie crumbles man.. TWO!"

"YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!" Naruto dashed down the alley.

"ONE! HE IS DOWN HERE GIRLS!"

No sooner had the words left Choji's mouth were more than FIFTY kunoichi running after the blonde. Kiba, after witnessing the almost feral look in eye woman's eye, leaned over to Neji and asked.

"He is going to be alright… right?"

The men just looked at each other and shrugged.

* * *

Naruto was surrounded. Everywhere he looked he saw hungry eyes… Watching…. Waiting… He needed to think fast as they were slowly creeping in on his position. He had to escape but he also had to get them to break formation and scatter them so he could break through their offensive lines. If he could get to the forest he would be fine. Right now he was hiding in a dustbin. They knew he was in there. But still they were waiting for his next move. The elusive fox would not escape. Not when he was outnumber fifty to one. But the fox was never outnumbered. Not when he had his shadow clone technique! That was his way out! That was how to make them scatter. Give them a thousand copies to follow. Crouching in the dustbin he crossed his fingers and summoned the chakra. Like bullets fired from a gun, over a thousand Narutos shot into the air and scattered to the four winds. The women were aghast at such a strategy. How were they to find the real one?!

As the fifty or so kunoichi tried to tie down as many clones as they could, only one saw the trash can grow legs and slink off into the forest. Silently she followed for nothing ever escaped her eyes. The two buns of hair on her head and scroll on her back filler with weapons gave away her identity. The sly fox was now in the sights of Konoha's weapons Mistress and the most feared markswoman this side of the country. The infamous Tenten Tamura! Had the Namikaze known who was following him, he might tried something different… though in reality, it would not have mattered that much. She was on his tail and his fate was sealed.

* * *

After making into the forest Naruto breathed a sigh of relief and discarded the trash can. It was far from an ideal hiding spot. He was sure he had kneeled in someone's gum. As he set about trying to pry the sticky substance from his trousers, he leaned back against a tree. A dreadful mistake, for not a moment later did ten arrows spiral out of the shadows and pin him by his clothes to that tree. Naruto struggled against the arrows but was not fast enough to free himself before she appeared before him.

Dropping her Yumi Bow, she sauntered up to her prey, her smile was far from innocent and she made no intentions of hiding that. A saccharin sweet hum slid from her throat as she took he time to admire her catch.

Naruto was far from impressed as his sage cloak and black and orange attire now had a few new button holes where he never really needed buttons. But the most annoying thing was that she was prancing around and taking her time. She had caught him. Wasn't this supposed to be a race to capture and claim? You don't get points for only doing the job by halves.

Sighing, he accepted defeat, or so he would let on. He may be down but he was far from out. He just had to get her talking. Too bad Tenten was considered a tomboy and was strictly business like in profession. However with the way she slowly strutted over and taking in her prize, there may just be some hope yet.

"Congratulations Tenten. You got me." His voice was uncharacteristically smooth. He was trying to imitate those men from the black and white gangster movies he had seen as a kid. Thus far he felt he was doing pretty well.

"How about you come closer and let me go so that I may hold you to me?" his voice was low and husky. His eyes held the glint of mischief and adventure and that smile on his face filled her with such fire.

"Not so fast Mr fox, I need to make sure you are mine before I release you" She was now standing in front of him, not more than three inches from his face. His hot breathe was on her lips and she was dying for a kiss. His eyes showed an eagerness and need. She thought it was to be close but it was actually to get away from the crazy woman!

She leans in for a kiss but his words stop her.

"W-wait! Please, just one hand and it will make this all the more better" He was starting to panic. One hand free and he could escape but he hoped she would think that with one hand free he would cup her face and draw her in. He was praying that his bluff would work. But if she was too hasty the all would be lost.

Slowly but surely she released his right hand and he told her to soften her lips and close her eyes. So caught in the moment she was, that she did not see him cast the hand sign and disappear in a puff of smoke. Getting impatient, she cast romance aside and leaned in for their "first kiss" only to find it hard and cold. Opening her eyes she gasped in horror to find him gone and her Yumi bow in his place!

"THAT SNIVELING MANIPULATIVE BASTARD!" she screamed

"Using a substitution technique to get away and betray me with my own bow!" she scowled

The scowl soon turned to a satisfied smirk as she shook her head.

"Well played Namikaze… Well played."

* * *

Ino Yamanaka was never one to follow the crowd. She was the trend setter. She was the one to lead the crowd. Always at the cutting edge of fashion and never out of "the know". She was the queen of gossip. If anyone heard a rumour, it was likely that she was the source. That is not to say that she would start them, just made sure the _right_ people heard them first. So when she heard that her fellow Blonde was now noticing local girls in a new light, she was going to make sure she made one HELL of a new first impression.

He had to be back soon. There was no other place to hide. And where better to hide than home? Using her steal and cat like prowess, it was easy to break in, especially since he never locked the front door. As a Child, Naruto was hated and was always having his house ransacked so he never locked the door because they would get in anyway and that way at least the door would remain on its hinges. Now it was left unlocked because he was the most powerful fighter in the world and greatly respected by all as the hero of the fourth war. Why would anyone break in?

To strip down to their underwear and present themselves on his bed of course!

When Ino wanted something, she used her looks to get them. And why not? They always worked before! When Mom said no, she asked Daddy! When Daddy said no, she used the puppy dog eyes and he would cave in. All men were the same. They always gave in to her "natural charms". What she wanted, she got. Daddy's little princess. But now she wanted something that even Daddy could not give her. She wanted a fox.

So imagine her surprise when the Golden fox barges into his room and does not even look at her but instead starts to barricade the door. Naturally she thought he did not want to be disturbed while enjoying "_her company"_.

That thought flew out the window the moment he turned after nailing the door shut, looked at her on his bed, clad only in risqué underwear with her long blonde hair and light blue eyes, promptly made a high pitch scream and jumped through the closed window and into the street below. A simple "No Thank you" would have sufficed

But now she had a problem. Here she was in her underwear, in his BEDROOM with the door nailed shut and the rest of her clothes are in a satchel in the LIVINGROOM and the only way out is the broken window to the busy street FIVE STORIES BELOW!

She could only pinch the bridge of her nose, shake her head slowly and curse….very….very… loudly!

* * *

After having leapt out of the window, it became a quick realization that Naruto had not lived on the second floor for several years. Now, hurtling towards the ground, Naruto thought that such foresight would certainly have improved his current situation. Never one to complain and always making apple juice out of lemons, He tucked, rolled and landed on his feet quietly.

Naruto needed to move. The street was too open and despite it being on the poorer side of town, if Ino had found him here, then others might too.

Spotting a storm water drain, he made a dash and lifted the manhole cover and disappeared into the dark underground tunnels of the city. He had memorized these tunnels as a child and found them to be quiet useful when you needed to get from one place to another without being seen. Why he had not used them sooner was beyond him but it was a case of better late than never. Naruto had one goal in mind and that was to try and reach the main city gates. With these tunnels he could get there, no problem. There was a hatch a few feet just inside the gate and from there he would disappear to Sunagakure and wait until the heat had died down.

He was just about through with all these crazy women. If he came across one more he did not know WHAT he would do! Probably scream and run. That had been his most successful plan to date. The only difference was that today he was screaming and running AWAY from the enemy rather than towards them like usual.

Naruto stopped at the end of the tunnel and looked straight up. Small slivers of light broke around the seal of the man hole and shadows of those walking above cut across those few rays of light that led to his personal highway. Climbing in absolute silence he reached the cover and gently pushed it up an inch to peer out and see if the coast was clear.

Just as Naruto was pushing up the manhole cover, the ambassador from Suna was making her way past the checkpoint at the gate and being as observant as always, quickly took note of the bright blue eyes looking at her from the manhole cover. As far as she knew, there were only a few people with blue eyes in Konoha and though it did help a lot, it did not take a genius to figure out who would be crazy enough to be caught staring at the people from a storm water drain. It was the Golden Fox himself.

As a strange turn of coincidence, this was just the person she was looking for. Suna had to renew its trade agreement with Konoha and as Naruto was going to be taking over things soon; all trade agreements had been recently transferred to him to oversee.

Walking up to the manhole cover, Temari kicked it up and away to expose the now traumatized blonde and reached down and reefed him out of the hole. Though he was kicking and screaming, she was by no means letting this man out of her site. Temari just wanted to get these papers signed and go back home as quick as possible and thought that if she made the task sound special that he would gladly jump up and help her with the papers.

"Naruto! Just the man I have been looking for! I came all the way from Suna today to find you because I have a task that only you can help me with. I need your help really badly and only you can do it for me. I just don't _trust _anyone to help me with this really delicate problem. So quit whining and just come back to my hotel room with me and we can get this over with!"

For added affect she threw in her loving puppy dog eyes and asked this all in a "cute" voice.

This however had the opposite affect to which she was expecting. Instead of jumping up and down at her "special and cryptically important diplomatic request", he looked at her with abject horror as his eyes went the size of Ramen bowls.

"All the way from Suna?!" He whispered quietly to himself as he pondered how strong this cursed genjutsu was!

Temari frowned at his response. "Yes! All the way from Suna! NOW ARE WE GOING TO MY HOTEL ROOM OR NOT!?"

Bucking violently, Naruto tore himself away the Sand kunoichi and dove head first back into the hole.

"NO! YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"

And with that the manhole cover was pulled back into place and sealed tight. Temari stood there, lost for words. The only thing that came to mind was that if he hated paperwork this much already then she would hate to see him as the Hokage. It was a well-known fact to Kage and staff that paperwork was the bane of their existence. This however was an S-ranked secret because if ninja knew of the amounts of paperwork required for the job then no one would make it past Gennin for fear of being the Kage.

Shikamaru was the one to stroll up and notice her perplexed face. Having witnessed the encounter, he felt it right to enlighten the foreign ninja of the circumstances Naruto was currently in and point out the figures of Tsunade, Kakashi and Sasuke sitting on the balcony of the Hokage tower. If you looked close enough, you could also make out that they were eating popcorn and taking bets on who would nab the fox.

Temari just shook her head.

"So this is what you guys do for fun around here?"

"It helps to pass the time." Shikamaru drawled out with a smile.

* * *

Naruto was sitting in the bottom of the storm water drain, arms wrapped around his legs, slowly rocking back and forth while sucking his thumb and close to tears. Never in his life had he felt so much fear. Sure he had an abusive childhood and most of if not all his life he had extremely powerful people trying to kill him. But this was different! HE HAD NEVER HAD WOMEN CLAWING AT HIM IN DESIRE! This was something he did not know about and certainly did not understand! In his fights with Akatsuki and Orochimaru, the Seven Swordsman and any number of Edo Tensai Kages it was simple! They wanted to kill him and have him out of the way! He did not know what these women wanted him for and that scared the CRAP out of him. Fear of the unknown.

Naruto shook his head and took a few deep breaths and tried to psych himself up for the final push. There was only one last place to go. And he feared that place more than anything because of who was there. If the genjutsu had affected her as well then there would be no chance of escape. But still he had to try. He would go and see Grandma Tsunade. She was the most powerful medic in all of the lands. If she could not solve this Genjutsu then no one could.

* * *

Tsunade was alerted to his arrival as she heard the scraping sound of the storm water drain outside. She had actually expected him to arrive sooner but from what she had seen already, he'd had quite a day. But Tsunade had money riding on this and was not going to let him stop here for too long. Though Naruto may not have known it, he had a schedule to keep. So when he burst through the doors to her office, looking about ready to keel over, she did not feel pity. All she saw were the dollar signs of a clearly won bet.

Naruto came crawling to her feet and was begging for her to release this genjutsu. She would have been heartbroken to see him in this state… if it were not for the massive payout later on. And if she felt bad later she could always BUY his forgiveness at Ichiraku's later.

Crouching down she embraced the young man she had come to see as a son and decided that it was time for him to go and face his destiny. Placing her lips by his cheek she gave him a motherly kiss and then whispered his parting gift from her to him.

"Remember Naruto… I love you too!"

She then proceeded to smother the young man with affection and though she thought his cries were funny and cute, Naruto was in a new level of his PERSONAL WEIRD HELL!

Gasping for air and trying to cling to his last shreds of sanity, he clawed his way out of her vice like grip and quick as his father, was out the window and gone in a flash.

Shizune, the Hokage's personal assistant entered the room to find Tsunade standing triumphantly by the window, watching the young blonde sage barrel down the street. Normally the kindest speaker you would ever know, she turned to her master and uttered a simple statement.

"Lady Tsunade, you do know that when money is involved that you can be a real Bitch to your friends… right?"

Tsunade just smiled knowingly.

* * *

Naruto was exhausted. It was now 7:45 pm. He had almost done it. The 12 hours were almost up since he had cast that cursed Genjutsu. Just 20 more minutes and he could be free of this madness and go home and go to bed. He stopped at the thought. He just realized that maybe Ino could not get out the same way he did. It would be awkward trying to explain that a jutsu coerced her to invade his room in naught but her underwear. That was certainly something he wanted to avoid.

He was making his way down the dark and deserted street when a light caught the corner of his eye.

And there they were the obsessive mob carrying torches and being led by none other than his current worst nightmare. Hinata Hyuuga!

Long gone was the shy and stuttering little Hinata with her cute way of pushing her fingers together. The responsibility of leading the Hyuuga House had taught her to be bold and strong willed. When she took control of the clan, it was not because she was chosen as the heir. It was a hostile takeover from her younger sister Hanabi. Her political tactics and nerve in the council had even surpassed her father Hiashi when he was her age.

No, this was not cute little Hinata-hime, she was now the ruthless warlord that had combined the main and branch house under her gentle iron fist!

"I believe it is time you come home with me Naruto-kun! You will be most welcome in our home!" She spoke with confidence that was almost frightening. Her pale eyes held a piercing gaze. Naruto felt more like a piece of meat to her rather than a potential husband. Scratching nervously at the back of his head, he just had to stall for time. Soon all of this would be over.

"I am sorry Hinata but I think I left the stove on in my place and I really should be getting to that before the apartment burns down"

Hinata activated her Byakugun and her gaze fell onto his apartment, letting her see through the walls before she smiled back at Naruto.

"Naruto-kun, sweetheart… your stove is off. I can see it from here."

"_CRAP! STUPID CLAN TECHNIQUE OF SEEING THROUGH THINGS!" _Naruto tensed but only had to stall for another ten minutes.

"I really think I left it on"

"No! You DIDN'T!"

"Are you sure because I could have sworn I left something on?"

"NARUTO-KUN!"

"….yes?"

"There is nothing going on in your apartment. Now are you going to come with me like a good little boy…?"

Hinata dropped into her **IRON FIST** stance with byakugun still activated.

"…or is Mummy going to have to force you?!" she snarled. She was NOT taking no for an answer this time.

Naruto let his head drop for a moment to steal his resolve for what had to be done. As he raised his head and looked her dead in the eye, she could see the familiar red circles around his eyes. He was now in Sage mode. With this he defeated Pain and the last of the Akatsuki.

"I am sorry Hinata but I don't love you like that. You are a great friend and strong Kunoichi but you will always be like a sister to me. You know I never had a family like you and I hope you can appreciate just how much you mean to me for me to say that to you. You are the only one I have ever said that to. You are already dear to me and a part of my family. You don't need me as your husband for us to be together as a family. Please respect my wishes. I can't marry you. I am sorry"

A small tear broke from Naruto's eye and trickled down his cheek.

Hinata's stance softened for a moment.

"…N-n-Naruto-k-kun…"

Naruto smiled at her. Her heart fluttered under that smile but she steeled her resolve again and set a stern look on her face.

"I am sorry Naruto-kun but that is not enough for me!" and charged at him. She WAS taking him home and NO ONE, Not even the man she loved was going to stop her!

"Ah crap… well it was worth a shot!" Naruto dropped into his Frog Fu stance with a grin and got ready to defend. Just as she was a metre away, Naruto threw a flash tag on the ground and the whole street shined a bright yellow, blinding everyone for a few seconds. When the light cleared he was gone.

Naruto was taking a page from his only fight against the byakugun, against Neji and was hiding underground. It worked against Neji back at the chunnin exams so his theory was that the byakugun could not see underground. His theory was crushed when Hinata's Iron Fist broke through the ground and reefed him from the dirt.

"Oh right… that time against Neji, he thought I was already out and so he didn't have the byakugun active" Naruto's had a slightly disappointed frown on his face that he had been found so quickly.

"Ok. Time to get serious!" Naruto cried out as pulled free from Hinata's grip and leapt out of her range. Taking a steady breath he did something he rarely did. He thought out his next move. He did not want to hurt Hinata but he still had to incapacitate her somehow. His heart just was not is this fight. "_Heart….THAT'S IT! Hinata would always faint when she got a shock as a girl. She may put on a tough façade but I am willing to bet that she still has a bit of a weak heart! ALL I HAVE TO DO IS SHOCK HER!" _

Putting his fingers in the well-known cross formation, he created 9 clones and had them stand in a line with him.

"Ready guys? Let's show this woman what we are really made of!"

Hinata dropped back into her Iron Fist style and prepared for a physical attack. She was not ready for what happened next. When given the signal, the shadow clones ripped off their clothes to leave them clad in only their boxer shorts!

The regal Hyuuga princess' face went bright red as the shock of this unexpected flesh flash hit her full force. She dropped her stance and giggled goofily as blood started to drop from her nose and with that she was out like a light.

Naruto dispelled the clones and clapped his hands together in success as he turn to head home. Oh if only it had been that simple! He should have thought his last stunt through a bit better. True it may have knocked out Hinata but for the few hundred other women that were standing behind her… it set their hearts ablaze desires so perverted that details will not be mentioned in this story!

Naruto cursed his stupidity. He had taken out one sex crazed Kunoichi only to create hundreds more. He fell back on his most basic instinct. He ran like hell.

* * *

Sakura had spent the better part of the day looking for her blonde team-mate. She had checked everywhere she could but every place she tried, she seemed to have missed him by mere moments.

It was now as she was about to give up that they ran into each other, literally. She had just turned the corner to see the man she loved being chased by over two hundred crazed women with torches down the dark street towards her. Her eyes went wide as she saw the state of the man running towards her. His clothes were dirty, tattered and torn. He looked to be completely exhausted and more terrified than she had ever seen him.

With a great crash, the two legendary shinobi collided and tumbled to the ground. Sakura was the first one up to her feet and surprised to see the Great War hero cowering behind her leg as like a lost puppy. She turned to see the "army" of women before them. Naruto's voice was harsh and quiet from screaming but still he looked up at her with eyes of pleading and asked in a desperate prayer.

"Sakura-chan… please… save me…"

This was the result she had been dreaming of but it had gone a bit far. At this rate the other women were really going to kill him. Now was the time to take action and save her beloved. In the original plan he was not supposed to be in any real danger but the situation had become quite serious if appearances were to be believed. But before she would save him, she needed some assurance.

"Naruto, if I do this then you have to promise me something…"

"Yes! ANYTHING SAKURA-CHAN!"

"Will you take me out for a date?"

Naruto paused and looked at her in disbelief. Could she really be serious?

"Yes"

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

He had always wanted to be but he thought she didn't like him that way.

"YES"

"Will you love me unconditionally?"

Again he looked at her in disbelief.

"…I always have Sakura-chan…"

Sakura's heart burned at that. She knew he always did but it was still heaven to hear it from his mouth, in his voice, from his sweet lips.

"Will you stand by me and never leave me?"

This was the one she feared the most. He was everything to her and she had treated him so badly as a human being, let alone a friend. She had no right to ask this but still she…

"The promise of a lifetime… Sakura-hime"

A tear broke from her eye as she knew what that meant from him. Even if he wrote it down in blood and sold his soul to the devil for her, it would not mean as much as those few words. She had her assurance.

With that she pulled him up by his collar and claimed his lips in a public display of authority. He was HERS! And NOTHING would DARE break that!

After breaking the kiss, she turned to the stunned crowd and glared.

"THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES! HE MINE NOW!.. M.I.N.E! …MINE! NOW YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF!

They all stared at her. Still in shock. The great hunt was over and they have lost.

"WELL? What are you WAITING for?! Get GOING!"

And with that Sakura stomped the ground with her super strength, creating a great fissure and causing the women to flee.

Turning back to her "boyfriend", she found him to be asleep on his feet. It had been a hell of a day for him. With that she carried him back to her house…no… their house. She would let him sleep for now. There would be plenty to talk about tomorrow.

The End

* * *

Authors final address: For those of you who are wondering. Eros was the Greek god of love. Its Roman counterpart "Cupid" was a bit to mainstream for my liking. As stated above, I would like it if you could take a few moments to fill out if you liked the story or not. I am also looking for comedic Naruto stories so if you have any suggestions on who to read or even want my opinion on your own works then drop me a line and I would be more than happy to take a glance. =)


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